A while ago one of my dearest friends appeared at the front door of my home .When I say dear friend, she’s the kind of friend that you might not see for a few weeks or months yet when you do see her it’s just as if you saw each other yesterday- as if no time has passed since you last saw one another .You know what I mean – you both remain the same age as when you first met and restart a conversation exactly where you left off . You know the kind of friend I’m talking about – one that will drop anything anytime when he/she hears those words “I need you”. That is exactly what she did for me and continues to do for me so many times I’ve lost count . She shows no judgment , never tells me what I “need to do” , doesn’t gossip and listens to me with true friendship and love in her heart for me , which is equally as strong as the love I have for her .
Anyway back to the door – my friend was standing there and before she spoke I knew something was wrong , very wrong . I could tell in the wildness of her hair , the look in her eyes , the way she was standing and her sense of upset . I pulled her inside my home and hugged her . The news was that her 15 year old daughter “Verity” was pregnant .
We talked and I recalled a celebrity that once said ( I’m sorry but I’ve forgotten who it was) ….
” it might not be the right time or the right situation , but it will always be the right baby”
I said those words to my friend , I listened , I didn’t tell her what to do I just gave her the love back that she’s always given me .
The months went by and her daughter “Verity” (name changed for reasons of privacy) was blooming , looking beautiful everything was going well . I sensed however that she was worried about labour and I decided to make her my “Little book for labour ” I felt I had to do something to help her prepare in order to realise her own strength and to believe in her capability to give birth . I started the book I didn’t want to make it boring or prescriptive but fun and positive . I also realised the importance of going through the book , discussing induction of labour , vaginal examinations , acting on complications, early labour, food, and breastfeeding but most of all key support people and after the birth .
So to sum up the book was a success with Verity . We held a “mini” Jen & Verity one to one antenatal group in my lounge which taught me things about not just what younger women want to know (perhaps women of all ages?) . I really don’t know if I could’ve written it in the same manner if I hadn’t made it especially for Verity . She calls me “Auntie Jen” so I wrote it not just as a midwife , but as her dear mum’s friend and as an “auntie”.
Veritys baby is now over two years old and her birth was beautiful. I wasn’t there but my friend was ,they took the book in and read it . There were no complications and the birth was physiological .
Last night I asked Verity if I could borrow the book back to look at it – I’d not seen it for over two years. Verity had kept it safe and sound – I was thrilled that she still had it .
So here are a selection of pages from the book – I am very proud of it but more proud of Verity and her beautiful daughter . It’s going straight back to Verity after I’ve published my blog. (not her real name)
Thank you for reading